Who's Next

One day I'm just sitting around with nothing to do

and this chick calls me up

and asks me if I want to drop some mescaline

and go to a concert.

She had both the tickets and the mescaline.

So of course we went.

*

It was a really big deal.

The Who

were playing at the Forum

on the day that they released the album

Who's Next

in L.A.

The album was all over the radio on the way there.

For the first time ever.

*

We pull the van in for some gas and this narc with a German Shepherd

a three day growth of beard and dumpy plain clothes

but still wearing his rubber soled police shoes

comes running over to the window and says,

Wanna trade some pills for some pot?

and we're like, yeah, right, get outta here!

*

We decided to park at a gas station and walk across the parking lot

so we wouldn't have to hassle so much traffic coming out.

We ate a second dose of mescaline before we left the van.

*

Our seats were so far up in the back that we should have taken oxygen.

The concert was really bitchen', man!

What a light show!

And could those guys perform. Daltry was swingin' his mike all over the place as Townsend jumped and spun his arms around like you wouldn't believe, man.

And it was the first time I ever saw a laser light show.

It was like, the hippy gods had landed.

*

So, I'm watching the show and hallucinating my buns off, and by the time they begin to do one outrageously long medley for an encore, the floor of the forum had turned into one huge brain, and the music was tickling the brain, and then pulling at it, then tickling at it, then pulling at it, like the music was just too much to handle, then it would get sweet again, then become too much to handle, then get sweet again..........................................................................................................

*

But the chick that I went with suddenly started digging her nails into my hand, man!

She told me that I was turning into a werewolf.

And I said, far out, you know.

But she was like really freaking out because of the music and wanted to split.

Awww, man!

Show was almost over, but well, chivalry knows best and all that.

*

Now, the seats in the sky at the forum are on the steepest incline that you've ever seen.

If it were any steeper you'd be climbing a ladder.

And we stood up to leave, you know, but that's when I discovered that

my legs were asleep.

So, I'm like falling over people in their seats and stuff because my legs wouldn't work.

I'm lucky I didn't break my freakin' neck!

*

So we started back to the van, but, cool, it was nearly as loud outside the Forum!

We weren't going to miss much, maybe.

I think they were playing Magic Bus, but like for an hour, seemed like.

*

So we looked for the gas station sign under which the van was parked.

But in between us and the station was the biggest bunch of riot cops you've ever seen!

Like an ocean of blue, man.

*

So, now dig this, I'm walking on her right, she's walking on my left.

And we're just like, bug eyed at all these cops in riot gear, you know?

And we're trying to be inconspicuous and not talk or anything because,

talking might piss them off or something.

*

But for some strange reason, I'm thinking we'll go left around the swarm of cops,

she's thinking that we should go right around the blue hoards,

and together we ended up pushing on each other so hard

that we made a straight line right through the center of all these cops.

*

And as they're stepping out of the way,

and we're walking through the center of them,

we're looking at them all bug eyed, you know?

Like, "Please don't eat us!"

All the way to the van.

Where we ended up talking about werewolves

and dreams and stuff.

Quote

"In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act." George Orwell

Tiny Red Flowers

I knew these really cool people who had a cabin in the mountains

where we all used to go sometimes.

It was beautiful, overlooking a canyon that had a stream running through it.

*

So, one day I decided I was going on a hike

with my room mate's dog,

Alexander Graham Beetle.

*

And because we'd be gone all day,

I took along a bag of trail mix,

and a bottle of Chevas Regal

just in case I got the munchies.

Or if I got cotton mouth

from the LSD.

*

My favorite sport at the time was rock hopping.

I would make a small staff,

and hop from rock to rock as fast as I could,

up stream

and when suddenly the rocks were too far apart,

I'd vault the extra distance with my staff.

The goal,

of course,

to go as fast as possible without getting wet.

*

At about noon day or so I told Alex it was time for lunch.

There was a perfect rock upon which to sit

in a little nook of the canyon covered with little red flowers

all up and down the sides of the rocks,

and all around my philosopher's stone.

*

Chomping on my trail mix,

and taking sips of scotch,

I noticed that Beetle had the tiny red flowers all over his nose.

*

But the flowers were moving.

*

That's when I looked closer and saw that

we had parked ourselves

in a humongous nest

of

ladybugs.

~~~@~~~

Going on a Freak Out?

"I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of those blue-noses with my cocky stride and musky odors---Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?" -----Homer Simpson, quote extracted from The Simpsons and Philosophy, the D'oh of Homer

A Happening

Four of us went to this party in the canyon once,

it was huge!

*

It was out in the sticks, man,

there was a live band playin'

and there were cars parked

all over the north forty.

*

Far out.

*

When the farmer people ended the party

it ended in a huge caravan heading

back towards the city.

*

But, bummer, it was only 10 PM.

*

The caravan was boogiein' down the road

and there was this chick standing on a street corner

waving cars to turn down this street.

So we all did.

*

We all ended up in the parking lot of some apartment building.

Must have been a hundred cars, I don't know.

And it was like, one big party.

*

The only thing was, man, I don't think anybody knew anybody that lived there.

*

So, I'm sitting shotgun in the Volvo, and we just bought a gram of some primo hash.

But we didn't have a pipe, so we were just starting to smoke it by

dropping it into the red hot cigarette lighter.

*

But that's when the man showed up.

Pulled right in behind our car and got out.

So I ate the hash.

*

But the crowd was rowdy and started throwing beer bottles at the cops, man.

Pretty uncool, but the cops got back in their car and pulled back to wait for reinforcements.

We split.

*

But everybody was like, oh man!

Why'd you eat the hash!

Quote

"If you knew what I knew, Sariputta, you'd never let a meal go by without sharing it with someone." Buddha

Nazi Conservatism is Dead

Today I read in the Huffington Post that Neoconservatism is dead.

And I'm like, good, I can take the day off.

*

So, I thought I'd tell it like it was.

*

We've been fighting the storm troopers for a long time.

*

Fascist pigs!

*

Why would we have ever thought that anything good could come from these old Nixon supporters anyway?

*

Speaking of supporters.

At the end of the article about Naziconservatism being dead

some guy made a comment that I thought was brilliant.

*

He said, "Bad ideas never die. Keep your bullshit detector on at all times.

And don't forget to wear a cup."

*

Never again, man, never again.

*

We must always remember.

*

We must never forget.

Quote

Does one need proof of God? Does one light a torch to see the sun? Lao Tzu

Everywhere We Went

Sometimes I'd be sitting around with nothing to do, you know, out of pot, nobody around, and it was like all you had to do was walk around to find something going on somewhere. People would take one look at your long hair and know that you were cool. It wasn't such an uptight society back then, not all this paranoia going around these days. ..................................................................... *...................................................................................................................................................................... One day I was bored and just stuffed a copy of Zap comics in my overalls and headed down the street and these chicks were like, "Hey!" And one of them wasn't wearing pants. But they were like, come on in, listen to some music, so I did. But I was really looking to score some pot, man, so I boogied on down the railroad tracks to see if anyone was hangin' out under the bridge. *...................................................................................................................................................................... There was nobody there so I read my Zap Comic (There's a picture of that particular issue here somewhere) and then decided to keep on truckin'. Now I'm going down the street and some guy is smokin' a joint out in his front yard and says, "Wanna get high?" Oh God, did I. So we talked for a little bit and smoked this number. I don't know what the hell it was, but all of a sudden I thought that I was going to pass out, and so thanked my new friend and began to walk home. But I only got about 20 feet before I had to sit down on the curb because I was going to pass out, man. From there on it was 20 feet at a time, all the way home. But that wasn't as bad as when I left my friend's house after smoking pot, hash and peyote. I mean, at least I could find my way home. I didn't even know that you could smoke peyote, man. Anyway, I made it home before I passed out. Alright! *...................................................................................................................................................................... Things were just that way, man. They were cool. One day me and some friends are sitting on the sidewalk in the Village and my friend Stoney sees this beautiful chick walking by and says, "Let's f**k!" And she stops and looks at us and says, "No. But I'll have a cigarette with you." And just sits down and visits with us. Far out, man. Not everybody was like that, but Stoney was from Detroit. *....................................................................................................................................................................... In those days it was so easy to just hook up with other people. Everybody was cool, man. A whole different attitude prevailed in our society. I mean, you know. One night I'm hitch hiking home from L.A. back to Pop's house in Downer about 10:30 PM and I got picked up by this beautiful chick driving a '67 Corvette. And she was, like, an erotic dancer, she told me. Worked at the Classic Cat. And she drove me all the way to Pops house. She was waiting for me to ask her in, but, well, ah jeeze, man, I just left my GIRLFRIEND's house man. I was like, 16, and didn't need any bad karma. Besides, how the hell would I explain that to Pops? He'd been cool about my girlfriend, but you know, that might have been too heavy. *....................................................................................................................................................................... It was an adventure anywhere you went back then. It was sort of like an adventure that everyone was taking together.